“To be a star, yes, you have to have talent, and my God, do you ever have to be lucky, but riding alongside is this: desire. One so consuming that you are willing to piss away everything else in life. Stars have no friends, they have business acquaintances and serfs. They can only fake love on screen."

William Goldman - Oscar-winning screenwriter (All The President’s Men, Misery)

This was a quote of a quote taken from an article published on an Asian-American entertainment blog I follow regarding on what is truly needed for an Asian-American to push through and become a star.

Every one of us has played around with the daydreams of what success and fame could bring. Immense wealth. Exalted status. Validation. However, it is easy to forget what must be sacrificed when achieving such a status. Famous people are some of the loneliest people I know. The newfound uncertainty of whether people are giving you friendship and love over your persona rather than your true being is isolating and disruptive to a true peace one's soul could crave over a lifetime. Higher expectations are placed on you and your work and every bit of your being becomes scrutinized. Even certain individuals will begin to attack someone just for the sole fact that they are popular. Worse yet is that all of this burden increases exponentially with the exposure.

But Phil does bring up some good points in the piece that I've been conflicted about for a long time. My goal as an actor in not to be rich and famous. I've always thought of those to be fortunate byproducts of the real reward which is the experience of contributing to a work that moves you. Gratification of being used a tool to give life to a story which may move or inspire audiences and get them to see things outside of their own box. Fame for me cannot replace the sole adoration from a girlfriend or wife. Money itself does not make your problems go away but bring new ones. But at the same time, I do want to be recognized for my efforts. Shamelessly, I have an ego that needs placated and while I do my best to keep that in check, I also depend on the responses of others to validate the struggles I put myself through.

Phil's call is one of near-crisis. The lack of a proper Asian-American star lends to a vacuum of representation so great that it ever fortifies the notions of non Asian Americans that we can't act and deserve to be treated like everyone else. At the same time, I do feel that my best chances of taking on truly fulfilling work will not come unless I "sell my soul" and reach the upper echelons of that tough Hollywood ladder. 'Tis a fine line I walk. And despite all of this, I can't see myself doing any other type of career. I don't want to do anything else. It's tough being a Libra.


To end this post, I offer three more quotes fortifying the resolve in my pursuit of artistic and financial success.

"My will shall shape the future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man's doing but my own. I am the force; I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be lost in the maze. My choice; my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny." - Elaine Maxwell

"People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success." - Norman Vincent Peale

"And all I ask is one thing and this is...I'm asking this particularly of young people that watch, please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism. For the record, it's my least favorite quality. It doesn't lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you. Amazing things will happen." - Conan O'Brien