I've always felt like I'm psychic in some sort of way. I have great intuition, a knack for seeking and becoming very close with uniquely gifted individuals with good hearts and an extremely good sense of my mental surroundings. Maybe, psychic is not the best term to use but whatever it is it's been easily misclassified as overly sensitive. This gift has been a curse in the sense that I "feel" danger looming overhead, I can predict potential problems arising and with people I can sense change in them before they realize it themselves. Experiencing these thoughts and feelings earlier than most easily lends me the label of being paranoid or "worrying about nothing" until I am proven right shortly after.

With the beginning of this summer, I began to sense something unsettling. It was not that clear but it was pervading itself into the fabric of my thoughts so tightly woven with my arising dilemmas with my work and herself. Come July and everything just hits HARD. I was not the only one to suffer a loss I found. There were at least five or six well-established couples that had broken up after Electric Daisy Carnival.  Outside of that world, I have had several friends that had encountered life-altering news about their health and on top of that even more friends that experienced tragedies affecting their financial security.

What brings this up is yet another loss that my good friend had experienced yesterday. In a sense, my group of friends were happy in knowing that at least she had things working out for her. And as with the losses we all were experiencing ourselves we were taken back by the shock of the outcome of this as well. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED IN THE MONTH OF JULY!!!! Excuse the negativity surrounding this statement but there is something very wrong with everything happening right now. It seems as if the world and the people in it are in disaccord as to what is right and the universe is doing some sort of a massive sweep leaving separation and unrest in its wake.

I asked my parents today about anything they might have seen in my fortune for this year. This is actually supposed to be a good year for me surprisingly. This could tie in with the realizations about my life I've been having lately since. I've learned that I'm still in that process of self-actualization and that I did not figure out about as much as myself as I did. I wouldn't necessarily say that going through some sort of quarter/mid life crisis as I do not feel like I am in despair. I've already gone through the phase of trying to assess the world from a realistic view and obtaining my passions from that. However, there was something missing in my drive before that these events forced me to realize. There was a sense of fear before that losing Andrea has forced me to kill. Perhaps it is this fortune that they speak of that was worth my loss and pain....