1/29/2010

May My Smile Outshine The Sun....

Posted by Solace In Hunger

Oh, have I forgetten how to smile...

The world is in a much bleaker state as when I was last in this position. The ripple effect that began with the economic crisis has brought forth tragedies and created situations where life's priorities are seriously questioned. It has created fractures and breaks in the relationships around me and had added further stresses to one I had. It has unearthed problems within individuals once sheathed by a lifestyle of squandering and carelessness for their own actions. I said before that loneliness is ever present now than ever. And it's not necessarily that many around us are without friends, but rather that many of us are without people who we feel could truly understand us and lift our spirits. I was blessed last time to find a community of friends that welcomed me with open arms and brought into my life some of the most wonderful people I have ever met. They had brought me adventures, the gift of dance, the promise of love and a sense of family I've never had before.

However, that group today is shattered. It's members having gone their separate ways and with those remaining splintering further over a character assassination war I chose to walk away from. I found my true friends few in number as I found out that some had their own interests well in mind and inadvertently stabbed me in the back. So many of us have focused so inward to question the demons that haunt us that we easily forget that we aren't only ones in pain. I'm reminded even further by the blog I first mentioned a few days ago that there are others in the same situation as I. I can't stand back and watch the world spin in this direction any further...

Going through my older blog entries, I'm reminded that a clairvoyant friend long ago told me that I'm meant to thrive amongst people. As much as I believe that, I feel like I've forgotten how to. I usually have a very cheerful disposition and I don't like being that person who brings everyone down which brings me to this next excerpt from my entries:

"There is a thing that I have always heard and I have now proven it to be true: Finding happiness and confidence in yourself will draw it out in others... The great thing about that is that it is contagious to a point that once the people near you see those things and draw it out in themselves it will further reinforce your own positive qualities and perhaps bring it out further. It's a mutual exchange that perpetually builds upon itself without end.

The point: Just be happy dammit...and those around will you be too!"


I'm reminded again of my mission and it is clear.


I'm on a mission to capture that fire within my heart again. It's still there. Nary but a flicker at times and others a scorching tempest but I know it's still there. I must capture it with my two hands, take it into my chest and reunite it with my soul. I've always had the power to influence others and the time is needed again for all of us to shine our lights back to the world.

As the clouds slowly lift in this perceived darkness I find myself in every day, I'm starting to find those bright gems again in friends of old and new. Though small in number, collectively, you wield the power of a family to me so strong that I feel the heat of that fire once again.

To my friends Carin, Mark, Andrei, Maria, Wilson, Tina, Michelle, Vance...you guys give me strength. May I rise again and have my light shine with your own. Together, may our hope become the needle to penetrate that cynical fabric laying over the hearts of the people. We will weave with the hearts of our friends and family a future as bright as smiles we fight to put on now.


Here's my quote for the day:

"The worst situation is when you want to win but you're afraid of losing. The best situation is when you want to win but you never fear loss." - Liu Guoliang

And my track of the day:

Utada Hikaru - Sanctuary

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