8/09/2007

To Curious Readers...

Posted by Solace In Hunger

My apologies to those who have chanced across my last post. I did screw up by not making it private as in it were private moments for myself that were not intended to be shared. After hearing that it has been read and the damage had been done I did lock it to prevent further outside viewing. But I still stand by what I said in it if you have read it. I definitely know that I am not without fault. I too am far from perfect and my posts preceding this should show very well the numerous flaws I have (and I do have so much more). But before making any judgment about me take a step away from the box of bias and really think of what brought me to say such things and that there is the second half of the story. As the "outsider" of most social groups I do expect to be easily ostracized without any consideration as to the base forming my thought and opinion. I understand that I will most likely be easily dismissed as possibly a crazy ex-boyfriend and probably off the handle but realize that other than this journal I am without a venue to voice my frustrations. I am without a support group, closely knit circle of friends, a nearby friend with an ear, a best friend. I have just only an empty slate of a page to enter my thoughts. Am I to bottle this up further? Am I to be mute. I honestly had wished to only be heard by my own self but as unintended bystanders have heard my cries know that there is a reason why that pain exists. Once again, my apologies for possibly exposing you readers (and I only thought there was one or two which were to be my own close friends) to something you should not have seen, but remember my opinion is a culmination of living first hand with this person for the last two years. We have shared our own demons to each other that most do not even know exist. I do not intend to come off as authoritarian with my judgments...but my experiences with repeatedly dealing with the same situations on the past have given some credibility to it. Also, why did nobody choose to bring this up to me asking why such an entry is posted...but rather instead have their friends show their other friends and so on...and so on? I could have locked this up to prevent further unnecessary exposure. The only people needed to be involved in this are ONLY myself and the person mentioned in the post. This is something no one else on the outside should ever be involved let alone know about. There shouldn't be any sides being taken or bandwagoning of any sort. There's no great battle looming overhead for the blood-hungry masses to participate in. Just a dialogue between two adults. (Well really monologue since this was intended only for myself.)