2/22/2010

If Only I Were Simple

Posted by Solace In Hunger

"Compromise is but the sacrifice of one right or good in the hope of retaining another--too often ending in the loss of both.” - Tryon Edwards

There are too many things that I want to do...too many things I want to explore. Even now, with things becoming busy again I've only begun to dip my hand into the activities I've planned for myself. Rehearsals are now underway for Detour and Antigone, I've been getting a boost with photography learning techniques from friends and finding subjects to shoot, learning how to use my newly acquired CS4 Master Suite and this weekend I begin Mandarin and Hip-Hop dance classes.

Whenever I get into these modes, I worry that I'm spreading myself too thin. Already, I've missed deadlines for videos I've planned to release. Projects like the fight scene have stalled. I haven't been able to touch my guitar or practice martial arts in the past two weeks, or even practice my tutting and glides at all. And don't get me started on the preparations for my agency meeting or the daily casting submissions I have to make. I'm either doing too many things at once or find myself without the energy to do anything at all. I play up to the extremes and it always seem like such a hard effort to motivate or suppress myself to find that middle ground.

My Tang Soo Do master had taught us that it doesn't matter how smart or talented you are. The people who always succeed are the people who stick with it. He's right. Those who I know are successful are those who just stayed at it regardless of how much aptitude they had for what they did. Just about all of my actor friends are single, mostly by choice because they want to be able to dedicate themselves to their careers.

But, is there really no balance to be found? It's what I strive for in life. Having a significant other to share my life with is to me is just as fulfilling as reaching my dreams. I still refuse to believe it's an either or question. Am I really having to give one up for the other to be successful? My past relationships failed because I couldn't find balance. The more of my life I dedicated to my love I felt I had lost myself because I was not chasing my dream. As soon as I had tried to play catch up, the relationship had begun to fail. But in balancing both, will I never reach the true potential of either?

Well, this stage of my life should be rediscovering myself and who I am. I don't like the events that brought me here but I do have to say this is the most I have felt like myself in years. I feel more capable and many doors have opened themselves up to me. It's then I remember another piece of advice my master gave me. Be the person who you want to attract. When you are fully striving to reach your fullest potential your best of friends and true love will find you.

I hope that everyone is doing well out there... =o)

No Track of the Day today, but instead I post a vid of one of my martial arts heroes. He may not be a well known name but his pure dedication to Tae Kwon Do and Wushu has placed him among the greats.



Kim Won-Jin Tribute