“Don't go around saying the world owes you a living; the world owes you nothing; it was here first” - Mark Twain

Only nine more days until I head to the Big Apple.  And before it a gauntlet of tasks to be completed before I leave.  I was in a much different place when I had booked my flight at the end of last December.  What came after was an emotional whirlwind which brought me to this current and much different path in life.  Back then I had hoped to share the recent successes with the people in my life at the time and that the bonds I had shared then would have only become stronger coming to this point.  Fate has shaken the snowy, crystal ball and now most of us have gone our separate ways.  Ties have faded or I've had to cut off be cut from (though I hope only temporarily) and we have formed new circles of friends and family to grow within.  It's amazing how after just a few months a view of the world can change.

Originally, this trip was centered around attending Armin van Buuren's first ever A State of Trance anniversary show staged in the United States.  Two years ago, I would have been obsessing over this event.  And while I'm still excited to reunite with friends and will still have fun, I'm not looking forward to those nights so much anymore.  This will be my last "party" after all to seal the retirement of that part of me.  However, I am thrilled to see the city.  To take in the life there that is nothing like here.  It's a feeling I haven't felt since leaving for San Francisco over two years ago.  To experience something so new, something I could only witness in pictures and films but neglecting the smells, touch and taste, something to remind me how big and hopeful the world really is.

I've come across too many people who either believe the world centers around them or create their own fantasy world to be the center of.  Whether it be our always connected culture of social networking or a requirement of jobs like acting we get locked into a mode of self-promotion, constant craving for attention and self-centeredness and place too much weight in it.  I find myself guilty of crossing those lines too at times.  While all of our beings carry a significance, we are but just a part of something much greater.  We lose so much of ourselves to our ambitions and problems that we easily forget about the lives of those around us.  At times, we even forget to regard those in front of us that we spend time with every single day.

We all deserve recognition for the things we work hard for and nothing is wrong at all with self-confidence.  But it just seems to me that as we push self-empowerment more and more, we've begun to be arrogant and place ourselves on too high of pedestals despite our best intentions originally.  I've seen it when I've watched once warm, considerate people turn cocky and without regard before my very eyes and it's such a put off.  How much importance do we put into the intention of wanting to better the lives of those we love?

Being in that new environment reminds me a to obtain a perspective outside of what I deal with.  The world seems so full of promise and possibilities when you begin to notice how many people contribute and share from it.  It can be a sobering reminder that no path one embarks on is set and that all paths have an immense value of enrichment.  I have hope in experiencing that grander level of reciprocity.

I hope that everyone is doing well out there... =o)